And I would wonder what the big deal was. Yes, parenting was difficult, but what were the tough choices? I knew what the "right thing" was. Teach him "please" and "thank you". Have a consistent bedtime. Sweets in moderation. If he doesn't want to play sports, don't make him play sports. If he wants to play sports, let him play sports.
And no, you don't have to hire a freakin' batting coach. This is tee-ball, people.
I may have been a tad smug, come to think of it.
Well, if neurotypical children don't come with instructions, imagine the plight of the autism parent. No instructions! Conflicting instructions! Instructions that suggest if you eff this up, your child will lose any chance of becoming a contributing member of society. Instructions that suggest that if you use the wrong instructions, you're violating your child's individuality and person-hood, and scarring them for life. You're compromising their immune systems. You're poisoning them. You're not advocating enough. You're enabling them.
In short, you suck.
For the most part, I've managed to avoid these conundrums by going with my gut. But it is hard to know if you're making the right decision. Here's a sample autism parent test question:
Your child is displaying aggressive behavior at school. Do you:
a) Call the school and ask for a meeting.
b) Call your doctor and discuss a medication change.
c) Work with the therapist on new trials to address this behavior.
d) Make changes to his diet.
The answer is: YES. (At least that's how we roll.) Because you are in crisis mode, you want the problem fixed immediately, so you try everything. And maybe something will work, but you won't really know which something worked because you tried everything at once.
Autism doesn't lend itself to scientific method. There's no time to hem and haw. Decisions must be made.
|I must always have glue.|
I really struggled to figure out the right way forward. I wasn't going to torture my child, but I also felt it was our job to help him as much as we could. Why battle over getting him to play Connect Four if he didn't want to play Connect Four? A negative experience wasn't going to encourage interactive play. So I laid it all out for the team. We need new goals. The therapy has to change or we're out. So it changed. Apparently, the new therapist wasn't following the program. He was replaced and the new new guy works well with the glorious Miss T, and things are calming down around here.
Everybody's happy for now...until the glorious Miss T goes on maternity leave! And then there will be more uncertainty and angst. Perhaps if I offer to watch her baby, she'll come back early!
Ha. I am certain that that is not going to happen.